Story by Nidia Torres | Design & Illustration by Itzel Montoya

Hope. Freedom. Change. These are words you would hear if you were to attend a session with Hope for Wholeness; a faith-based network organization that primarily uses conversion therapy in an attempt to change a person’s LGBTQ+ identity.

Former conversion therapist and founder of the organization Truth Ministry McKrae Game explains he originally founded the organization in 1999, but it was later changed to Hope for Wholeness.

“Hope for Wholeness was primarily an organization trying to encourage people because so many people deal with suicidal thoughts because they have gay attractions,” says Game. “And trying to encourage them to let them know they’re not alone in that.”

Game says he created Hope for Wholeness to provide people a place that would ‘help’ get rid of same sex attractions. With this therapy, Game’s focus was to reach a point in which his clients accepted themselves in a way that did not contradict their religious and personal beliefs.

This process of conversion therapy is not uncommon in the U.S. and can have many dire consequences.

According to The Trevor Project, an organization that advocates for the LGBTQ+ community, conversion therapy can negatively impact people and impose long-term effects that can lead to suicide, depression and cause trauma.

“What we see is that it increases suicidality, and it increases depression and anxiety,” explains Cindy Bruns, director of counseling at the Student Medical and Counseling Clinic. “But that may all get pushed underground and hidden because they’re trying to be a good kid and preserve those relationships.”

Organizations such as the American Psychological Association and American Psychiatric Association discredited conversion therapy because they believe there is no definite scientific information backing the efficiency of this therapy.

Bruns confirms that the efficacy of conversion therapy is non-existent. “Most people who experienced it at some point kind of come back out as what their true identity is … [They’re] left with a lot of really harmful psychological consequences as a result,” she explains.

This was the case with Game; after having been a leader and conversion therapist at Hope for Wholeness, Game came out to the public as gay.

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Bruns says that youth who are subjected to conversion therapy are more affected because they are more reliant upon their families.

“Growing up is a time of identity exploration,” she says. “That is what our youth are supposed to be doing right now, is figuring out the initial stages of who they are and what matters to them and who they want to be in the world.”

For some, identity exploration is not an option because of their religious upbringing. “The only thing that matters to them is what God thinks, what their church family thinks,” explains Game. “If their actual family is religious, then they’re going to be extremely concerned with what their family thinks.”

Game says he was in the same religious thought process for 28 years. After leaving his foundation, Game realized the harm conversion therapy has on individuals.

Bruns says LGBTQ+ youth are often torn between what is true to them and what their family wants. “When families try to impose a certain identity on their child through conversion therapy or through just denial of their expressed identity in terms of being LGBTQ+, then the person is stuck between, ‘Do I please my family and still have a place to live?’”

These factors all contribute to the feelings of doubt and unsureness adults and especially youth have when they’re thinking of coming out or not according to Bruns.

David Alvarez, program assistant for the Science and Math Learning Center at Seattle Center College, says he is a member of the LGBTQ+ community but had difficulty coming out.

He says that a person’s background, religious beliefs, political upbringing and status of class are some aspects that set people back and discourage them from coming out.

“I understand why people are afraid to come out … depending on who you are and where you’re from, it is a risk. I see that more in people of color communities than I do in white affluent communities for the most part,” explains Alvarez.

Overtime, these factors can affect a person’s life because they can become afraid of their family’s reactions.

“I had come to a realization that I no longer believe and accept what those people taught me,” says Game. “That is a big reason why I’m able to have the peace that I do today because I don’t follow that framework that used to make me feel terrible.”

Game adds that people who suffer from accepting their true self and sexual identity face many hardships from their family, friends, church and society.

Alvarez says he has had friendships change after coming out. Although there were moments like these that changed Alvarez, he explains he also got to experience and meet new people within the LGBTQ+ community.

“I also had some friendships where it’s like, ‘Oh, you’re queer, I’m also queer. Okay, now we’re best friends,” says Alvarez.

Over the years, the LGBTQ+ community has begun developing a prominent voice that embraces themselves. Organizations like the Trevor Project, Born Perfect, PFLAG National, the Gay and Lesbian Association Against Defamation (GLAAD) and the National Center for Transgender Equality are some organizations that advocate for LGBTQ+ youth.

Alvarez’ love for his LGBTQ+ community is exemplified through support, acknowledgement and involvement he’s shown as a member of the community. He encourages others to not be afraid to come out.

“I would say just go be who you are and that there’s not really a right or wrong way to be queer as long as you identify it and are not criticizing others on their own queerness,” says Alvarez.